できるだけ、少し頑張れば、できると思います

皆さんこんにちは。私はセリナと申します。インドネシア人ですけれどもシンガポールで働いていました。実は一年半前は日本で書くのと話すのはあまり考えませんでした。長い間ぐらい新しい言葉は勉強しないほうがいいと思いました。なぜでしょうか？

１２年前に、私にはトラウマがありました。子供のころ私はずっとインドネシア語を使っていたので、英語は少しだけできました。でも、中学校から、シンガポールで勉強したので、英語で使ってしまったんです。そんな時、英語のことはとてもむずかしかったんですが、試験のことはほとんど’failed‘しました。４年ぐらい、一生懸命したのに、英語ができなかったんので、そのあたぜんぜんほかのこたばは勉強したくないと思いました。

１年半前、日本へ来た時、日本語をきくと、すごくすきになりました。言葉はきれいだし、かわいし、面白い言葉なんですが、話せるようになりたかったんです。でも、むかしの“failure”を思い出しました。もし、英語もできないのに、どうやって日本語ができるようになりますか。いつも考えたのはとてもたいへんだった。日本語はどうですか、だめかな。。。

でも、実はこころから、日本語ができるようになりたかった。時々わるいこてを思い出しました，そんな時、自分で言いて　’できないくても大丈夫だ、今日本にすんでいるけど、特別な機会がないんです、がんばってだ’。

だから、１年ぐらい日本にすんでいると，日本語ができるように、色々なことをやりました。日本語の教室へ行ったり、テレビを見たり、日本人と話したりなどです。今までも、日本語がまだまだです。いっぱい間違えちゃっんですけれども、少しで気るといいかんじです。昔のこわいのことはぜんぜん亡くなりました。

いまから、なにかしたいですが、したほうがいいとおもいます。できるだけ、少しがんばれば、何でもできるとおもいます。みなさんも、がんばりましょう。

先生たちも、今まで色々教えていただきまして、本当にありがとうございました。

the land where my father once walked

Yeah, I have gotten pretty sentimental recently. I have been thinking what I have done here and what I have actually achieved in this 15 months. One of the things that makes Japan unforgettable is the fact that my father lived here before for 7 years. Yeah, during his university day. However, my father rarely talked about Japan and the people here. I guess it is because Japan and Indonesia are vastly too different. Japan had potable tap water and shinkansen in the days when Indonesia had yet able to provide clean tap water and barely any train. So, no matter what he said when we were young, we could not comprehend it perhaps.

Anyway, it always amazed me that I live in Japan and travelled to places here and more importantly, learning the local language. I have gained many things here and in a way, it is a strong reminder of how complacent I have been in Singapore. I have been in a status quo for many years, if I did not go to Japan, I would still live in my ignorance and of course my comfort zone.

I did receive many favour here, I wonder why. The people here are generally kind, especially older people, I guess because they have time and money. The young people here is also nice, but the pressure of life may make them a little hard.

It is in Japan I realised the importance of doing something well-done, even for the smallest point. I like to do things fast and totally forgot about it. But it is not so in Japan. In Japan, people is careful with what they do. Time is not exactly the essence or the most important thing like Singapore. What is important is, it is well-done.

In Japan, I learn to appreciate beauty and to see simple things. I have to say that it is a totally different experience. I see a different point of view, different priorities and interesting compliments. People here will always say the food is delicious, the scenery is beautiful and appreciate almost everything. I am surprised. I am poor when it comes to compliment. Unless something is very delicious, otherwise I will not say delicious. Hmmm..

It is in Japan I realise I have many gifts and learn things very fast. I never realise that I am that good. ERRRRR…. I have no intention to be arrogant of course. It is just a fact that perhaps I know, but never want to admit it. However, it is in Japan I realised that it is OK to show your gift and talents. In the past I have not been confident in many things. In Japan, I learn to shine and just do my best. Well, probably I did experience bad things before that caused me to stay at the back and let others shine.

Anyway, Japan is a memory and everytime I could always recall that when I was 29 years old, I lived in Japan.